I was running late this morning...my hair was wet...I realized half way to the car I still had my slippers on...one of those kind of mornings. After pulling myself together and starting my drive, I realized the thick fog of the morning. The first one of this fall that I have witnessed so far. A foggy morning always amazes me---especially when I haven't experienced one in awhile. The roads and path I so frequently travel all of a sudden completly different--and as sure as I am about where I'm headed, I'm also a little unsure of the path that will get me there.
In the midst of my foggy drive, God reminded me that this is the place my heart has been lately. I have still been fixed on Jesus and living out His will for my life and for the ministry He's entrusted me with but the road has been a bit hazy. My heart a bit foggy.
It gets clouded with the lies I tell myself that I'm not good enough to be used by my Father, that I'm not smart enough to take on seminary and full time ministry, that I can't give my students all they need--that I'm not wise enough or discerning enough. My path gets bogged down with the fear of the unknown and change--even though with unknown and change comes great revelation of God's timing and plan. My heart just gets foggy when I allow all of the lies & fears to creep in for a bit and settle over me.
The road underneath me--the direction I'm headed still remains. I do know this truth-- I am not enough on my own--I never will be, but my Savior is more than enough. He is bigger than my worries & fears. He knows that trusting Him with the changes in my life allows His timing and plan to wrap its presence around my heart greater than any fears ever could. He is greater than my foggy spirit and it's ultimatly His light that breaks me free of the fog I've allowed to weigh me down .
One of the greatest blessings that's come into my life this fall is through my participation in a Sunday afternoon Bible study with a group of women of mixed generations and backgrounds. These women have quickly become sources of encouragement and inspiration to me as I have witnessed their devotion to God's Word and their willingness to be the church together as sisters in Christ. I have found myself often silent during my time with these women because my spirit is truly just soaking in their wisdom and examples of grace and truth. What a precious reminder these women and my time with them continues to be to me of seeking the Kingdom...of the road we are on together.
In the midst of the fog--God reveals His light, how thankful I am for a season in life to learn from the haze and ultimately to trust God's timing and leading.
- All to Jesus I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.
- I surrender all,
- I surrender all;
- All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
- I surrender all.