Every September.

Every year around this time I start missing my days as a college student at Hillsdale College. Anyone who knows me well or semi-well knows my love for the small school tucked away up in Michigan. My four years as a student were some of the sweetest years of my life. Without a doubt it is always so clear how God's hand orchestrated and blessed every struggle & joy that was part of the journey at Hillsdale during my undergrad college years.

It's also about this time of year that I start thinking back to how God led me to the beginning of my journey in youth ministry. I was a wide eyed freshman & somehow I found myself volunteering for the HFMC youth group with students who were just a year or two younger than myself. I am so thankful that God used my years as a volunteer to confirm to me that this was the path He was leading me on--because being a volunteer youth leader is hard. It's time consuming--always demanding more than just an hour a week & at the same time was one of the most rewarding and fulfilling experiences of my life. Now more than ever as I am fully immersed in my 5th year as a full time youth director, I still remember what it was like in those early days as a volunteer. The nights that I would walk back from the church to my dorm room and pray for the students I had just played knock out basketball with...what a precious beginning in youth ministry the Lord blessed me with.

I was cleaning my apartment last night & as I was vacuuming my eyes drifted towards my back hallway. I've lined it with picture frames filled with pictures of mission trips & Youth Sundays from the different ministries I've served in since I began at HFMC as a college freshman. From Michigan to Mississippi to Indianapolis, I stared at their faces in those pictures & felt my heart fall in love with God even more. I am so undeserving--and He has richly blessed me by being able to witness His presence and work in the lives of all of these teenagers I've had the privilege to know & love.

I know as a freshman in college I had pretty big plans for myself. I'm sure by the time I was 27--I thought I'd be a mom & married & teaching the 3 year old Sunday School class. As I looked at the wall of pictures from so many amazing experiences..so many students I've had the honor to know... I thanked God for His plan for me...for His timing. I wouldn't change a single part of this journey.

Best Thing Ever.

Last night we kicked off our Wednesday night Bible study we hold for students during the school year. I was blown away with the 55 teens we had in attendance. What an encouragement.

Wednesday evenings are a special time for me because I led our Tween Bible Study. It’s been really fun to build a ministry for 5th and 6th students here at CUMC over the past year and I have had great anticipation about this coming year & a new batch of 5th graders.

I spent sometime last night talking about our student ministry with the tweens at the beginning of Bible study. All of a sudden one of the students yelled out: “Being apart of youth group is the best thing ever.” We all started laughing but it brought a smile to my face and heart to hear the excitement in her sweet voice about taking the step into our youth ministry family.

I like to pray when I run. This morning’s run was a little on the cold side but I had a dialogue going with the Lord in my head about our tweens & the students we saw at Bible study last night. I kept hearing her phrase running through my mind…”the best thing ever.” A lot of times I’ll selfishly admit, I do hope that. I do hope to lead a student ministry that is considered the best youth group ever. I’d love for that to be a quality that our church family is known around the city of Indianapolis for being the “best thing ever” for the teenagers that are apart of it. The more I thought about her phrase…the more I prayed for our teens on my run this morning… I was reminded about why we are here for these students, what we are really all about and that is about pointing them into relationship with the BEST THING EVER…Jesus.

Because, honestly…I’ll probably never be able to create programming that will reach every teen in this city—but I do know a Savior who desires to reach them…who desires to love every tween, middle school student & high schooler from Noblesville to downtown Indianapolis and beyond. There is no way the games, music, pizza, t-shirts, etc. that I could come up with on my own could ever be enough to spark the interest of every teen that comes my way—but I do know a God who knows the heart and desire of every teen that walks through our doors. The best thing I could ever do with my life is point them in the direction of Him…their creator, author, sustainer & best friend.

There’s a song that our worship team at the Saturday evening service, Renovate, played a few weeks ago that I feel really echoes my heart for our students in finding their “best thing ever” in Jesus…

Everything by Tim Hughes:
God in my living, There in my breathing
God in my waking, God in my sleeping
God in my resting, There in my working
God in my thinking, God in my speaking

Be my everything, Be my everything, Be my everything.

God in my hoping, There in my dreaming
God in my watching, God in my waiting
God in my laughing, there in my weeping
God in my hurting, God in my healing

Christ in me, Christ in me, Christ in me the hope of glory
Be my everything

Strength for today.

There’s a piece of scripture that I’ve been carrying around in my tote bag written on a post-it note for the last week. Proverbs 31:25: “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”

I looked up what another translation says and it worded the first part of the verse this way: Strength and dignity are her clothing.

In a devotional I’m using right now there’s a lot of emphasis on the characteristics of being a virtuous woman of God by using the instruction in Proverbs 31. Verse 25 keeps coming back to me. I’ve come across the post-it in my bag at random times…when I was in line at Target, walking into work the other morning I put my keys back into my bag after locking my car and I brushed against it, the post it actually fell on the floor of my office once this week too.

I read the post it & my mind goes back to those two words: strength and dignity. And then I read again the way this virtuous woman owns these characteristics…she is clothed with them…they cover her. They hold onto her so tightly that no matter what happens in the coming days, in the future, she faces it with joy and laughter.

Wow. I feel far from that virtuous woman most of the time. I seem to crumble so easily with struggles like lacking patience & lack of control…those characteristics seems so far from strength and dignity.

I drove home to my parent’s house this evening. It’s been over a week since I’ve had a day off so I was thankful for the opportunity to drive up to Fort Wayne for Labor Day to have some rest. I plugged in my phone to listen to Pandora during my drive and while I was fumbling for the right cord in my tote bag I came across the post it for Proverbs 31:25 again. I re-read the scripture out loud and let out a sigh…here again I was feeling anything but strong, honestly I was feeling tired.

I started to drive and suddenly the Pandora channel started to play one of my favorite hymns, Great Is Thy Faithfulness, as I started to sing a long I realized what I was singing… “Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow”

I realized how wrong I had been about my little post-it note I have been hauling around all week. Only through God’s amazing faithfulness, is where I gain strength. Not strength that I could maintain perfectly in this human body on this Earth…but strength for this day…this moment. Of course, I fail. Of course, I am weak. Through my surrender trust in Him…through God working and alive in me…through His grace I can strive to clothe myself more and more with His strength and dignity.

Great Is Thy Faithfulness.

Friday Blessings

I'm going to try my best every Friday to post some blessings from each week. I don't always do a very good job of slowing down and thanking God for the great things He is doing all around me on a daily/weekly basis.

1. My co-workers & staff at CUMC. I really love working as part of a big church staff. I love that I have co-workers who are my friends and pop into my office & I can pop into their office. It's a blessing to be in ministry with the people that God has placed into my life & I know I take many of the little things they do to help me for granted.

2. A little boy full of courage and love named Luke. He was one of the kids at VBS this year who loved the 500 miles song and I loved watching him dance and sing it & hear him ask me when we would sing it again. Tomorrow we will celebrate his 8 years of life on Earth and celebrate His eternal victory in Jesus.

3. My bff got an iPhone today & now we can try out the Face Time feature. We may be out of control with that...it's the little things.

4. My mom sent me a hand written letter this week. I love my mom's handwritting and I love how she can totally lift my spirits after a long day through a couple of sentences in a card.

5. My friend, Penny had saved the final episode of Oprah on her DVR for me since May and I finally got to watch it with her on Sunday night. I don't necessarily agree with everything Oprah says/does but what girl doesn't love an episode of Oprah every once in awhile. It meant a lot to me that Penny saved that episode for months on her DVR for me and watched it again with me...she rocks.

6. This promise: "May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." Romans 15:5-- I'm so thankful for a Father in Heaven whom gives me endurance & that can move in my life so that I may strive to look more like His Son. So, thankful for the grace God extends to me in striving to live that promise out...when I fail over and over.

Change.

Change has always been a struggle for me in one way or another. I was the kid who cried at the end of 5th grade because I was sad to leave my elementary school. Sure, I was excited about middle school and beyond but the change was still hard. I try to stay up with technology the best I can--I am an iPhone girl after all. But still, it changes all the time and as soon as I got used to Facebook, Twitter arrived.

Honestly, most of the time I avoid conversations about Twitter because I'm not ready to set up an account...it's more change...it's more to keep up with. In the long run do I know it's probably not that hard to set up/follow/use...yes. Do I know that it could keep me more connected...yes. Do I also realize that opening a Twitter account isn't one of the most earth shattering changes that could happen in my life...yes. But yet there's still something about making the transition that continues to keep me hesitant. So instead of the leap into the world of Twitter, I'm taking a smaller step into the blogging world. A step I've taken before for different ministry purposes but have never been disciplined enough to stick with. It's a little more familiar to me. A little less of a change.

I love starting out my devotion time every day in Psalms or Proverbs. Psalm 38:9 struck me today: "All my longings lie open before you, Lord..." The truth of that hit me hard. More than anyone God knows me best. He created me. He knows my heart, my desires, my struggles & shortcomings. He knows my struggle with change. He knows and holds the plan for my life. I'm so thankful. I'm thankful for a Father and Creator who knows how weird I could be about something as silly as being hesitant to open a Twitter account and yet He loves me with an amazing, unconditional love that I can't fully grasp or put into words.

So, here I go with a small step. I hope this blog can be a place to journal and share with others more about the wonder and greatness of our Creator who walks beside us in the small steps and changes of each and every day.