small steps

small steps

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

A little crazy...

Life has felt a little crazy lately. It's always pretty busy and I like busy but for some reason I have felt off and it has seemed like a little crazy snuck in somewhere. If my students are reading this they are probably thinking--"Well, Steph is a little crazy." And if I take a hard honest look at myself they are probably right but for some reason it has all felt a little crazier than whatever normal tends to feel like. My instinct when things start to feel a little uneasy or off is to try and fix each and everything myself...to reel it all in. And, usually somewhere in the beginning of that process I am reminded that there's no way I can reel in the craziness or find my center again on my own.

I am so thankful for God's grace with that reminder and that He never gives up on me even with my tendencies to initially try doing things my way at first. This time, He reeled me back in and reminded me as I was preparing for my high school girls small group, I was reading a passage from the book, God Girl by Hayley DiMarco and this really stood out to me:

"When you love the way God designed you to love, not only will you find more love for yourself, but your life will have less drama and destruction in it. People will be drawn to you, and even if they aren't you will be okay with that."

I think one of the reasons these words rang so clearly to me was because in the midst of things feeling crazy lately my people pleasing desires have been in full force. My bad habit of wanting everyone to be happy and for everyone to like me all the time has been apart of the craziness. What an awesome and freeing reminder it is to remember that God has designed me and created me in a special way to share His love with others and when I put all my trust in that it really won't matter to me if I can make everyone happy with every decision because my trust lies in Him.

One of my favorite parables that Jesus told is found in John 10:11-14, "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then, the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me..."

In the midst of a little craziness it is so comforting and refreshing to remember that Jesus is my guide...my shepherd. To remember that He knows me, that he never runs away or abandons me instead he laid down his life for me...his crazy little lamb that gets caught up in trying to keep the flock happy.

Sometimes it's the times where things are a little crazy that helps remind me of what is most important & to rest in the freedom that the Great Shepherd is always in the lead.