One Of Those Days

I'm having one of those days in student ministry where I don't have any programming responsibilities or commitments with my students today & yet I woke before the sun was up feeling a heaviness to cover them with prayer. To surrender them one by one to my Father because I feel the burden of their struggles and of being a teenager and know that there's no way I can protect them from the pain of this world. A heaviness in knowing all I can do is surrender them in prayer & strive to lead a ministry that points them to Jesus.

Days like today are an honor. Their faces fill my heart & my mind. So much to thank God for in the gift of each of them. Days like today are also hard. It's a reminder of the type of calling student ministry is and the weight of opportunity it brings to further the Kingdom.

I ended up at the gym this morning when I could no longer sleep. As soon as I climbed onto the treadmill I thought about how much I'd rather be back in bed. My God who knows every thought in my head, filled my heart in that instant with this verse: "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1

Student Ministry. Teenage Years. Growing nearer to Jesus. All of these wonderful and hard gifts are not a sprint. They require perseverance and prayer and surrendering. Heartache doesn't heal overnight, a close walk with the Lord doesn't happen instantly after an alter call & youth groups don't go from 50 to 500 in 3 years...and not on our own accord.

I'm thankful for the reminder on the humbling and hard days that my Father can handle it even when I get tangled up in my own sin of worry and struggle to surrender. That He's designed me for the long haul with Him and He can use a treadmill & an unexpected early Saturday morning to help remind me of His care for me and each of the students I'm so honored to know and love.

Bubbles

I've been thinking a lot about the bubbles I find myself surrounded in. It's easy to take everything that's important to me and isolate those things in their own bubble. Whether it's my ministry life, my personal life, the way I spend my time & my resources. I often find myself protective over what's mine.

I don't think I'm the only one, right? I look around at the culture around us and there are silos everywhere. Family time. Work time. Even my down-time for the most part is a bubble of my life that is about me...whether it's spent cleaning or doing laundry. It seems easiest to put a big cone around it and call it my own and move on.

Friday mornings are one of my favorite weekly bubbles. It's time spent with a group of Lawrence North students through the Radical LN--Campus Life group, led by Chris Rickelman. I love those early mornings, despite what my glasses, messy pony tail & running clothes might be saying, I really do love beginning the day with this group & God's Word.

Last Friday, we read together in Mark 2 about Jesus healing the paralytic. I've read this story dozens of times throughout my life, but when we studied it last Friday morning--God connected his message in this miracle of healing through Jesus with this thought of life bubbles that I've had rolling around in my heart.

The part of the passage that struck me in a new way, was the boldness and determination of the paralytics friends to get him to Jesus. These guys were willing to cut a hole in the roof of a house to lower him down to be near Jesus.

"And they came, bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men.  And when they could not get near him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him, and when they had made an opening, they let down the bed on which the paralytic lay.  And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.” 

There's a lot we don't know about these men who brought the paralytic to the feet of Jesus. I'm pretty sure it's safe to guess that they all had other stuff going on in their lives. They all had bubbles filled with different obligations and priorities. But they got it. They had the boldness, heart and desire to bring their friend to Jesus no matter what it took. They knew that through Him came healing and redemption. It was worth it to take the time & energy to see this through.

I've been thinking a lot about how many missed opportunities I've had to bring others to Jesus because I've been so isolated within my own bubbles. Even my own ministry. I love that in this story it doesn't say that one dude carried the paralytic to Jesus--but 4 men came together to bring their friend to him. And Jesus saw their faith instantly. I love that reminder--we weren't called or designed to be in this on our own. God has called us to boldness in our faith together. I want more of that boldness. I'm praying for it...I'm clinging to God's grace to help change my heart, to let down the walls of selfishness of my own stuff...the bubbles that fill my life.

I want to be ready to get up on that roof...to be aware of the opportunities I have to lead others to the feet of Jesus.

And when he returned to Capernaum after some days, it was reported that he was at home. And many were gathered together, so that there was no more room, not even at the door. And he was preaching the word to them.  And they came, bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men.  And when they could not get near him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him, and when they had made an opening, they let down the bed on which the paralytic lay. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”  Now some of the scribes were sitting there, questioning in their hearts,  “Why does this man speak like that? He is blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?”  And immediately Jesus,perceiving in his spirit that they thus questioned within themselves, said to them, “Why do you question these things in your hearts?  Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise, take up your bed and walk’?  But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he said to the paralytic— “I say to you, rise, pick up your bed, and go home.”  And he rose and immediately picked up his bed and went out before them all, so that they were all amazed and glorified God, saying, “We never saw anything like this!”  Mark 2:1-12

Less

I have not been many places in this world. I have only spent 36 days total outside of the country that is my home. That's not a whole lot of time. Let me begin by saying how thankful I am to live in America. How thankful I am for the freedom and opportunity that comes with being born and raised in such a blessed nation. Every time I sing a patriotic song, I have to fight back tears. I was blessed to attend a college where I was required to read and study the Constitution before graduating. I don't take lightly what a blessing it is to call the United States my home.
If my 36 days outside my country have taught me anything--they've opened my eyes to how easy it can be to become caught up in the wrong set of priorities.

A new car. A bigger home. A new outfit for a big event. A cup of coffee handed to me in a matter of minutes. The newest apple product. More and more. My 36 days outside of the land of plenty have taught me that less is enough. What a gift it is to spend time in another country, in another culture and learn from the lives of others. It has been humbling to me to learn time and time again how little is really required to experience joy. When the culture around me in my every day often shouts "upgrade...make more money...buy more stuff..." my time outside of my own culture has reminded me how silly that message can be and how often I buy into it. Friends and others sometimes say to me "I could never do a mission trip like that," or list off the dangers or expense of travelling out of the country. And I can understand where they are coming from. Maybe it isn't for everybody. But I find myself wondering what I would be like without these experiences....without these wake up calls & reminders to help realign me with what is really important. When I study the life of Jesus and the parables he taught, over and over again his followers and disciples didn't fully understand the truth He was pointing them too. It was easy for them to get hung up on the way things should be--or the things he should be saying as a teacher. Don't we get a lot like that ourselves? The church should be teaching this...or preaching this...when often the heart and the truth of where we should align ourselves is right in front of us. I am not pointing the finger here at anyone other than myself. My challenge for myself is to allow the lessons I've learned about joy & selflessness to now become the root of my daily decisions. The way I spend my resources and my time. A friend asked me yesterday, if I would recommend a trip to a developing country to absolutely anyone and without hesitation my answer is yes. And if out of the country seems too far fetched then start with a small step out of your comfort zone...get to know the neighbors on your street, volunteer within a ministry of your church family or within your community. On my bathroom mirror is a post-it note, with this reminder "Joy doesn't mean more." 36 days have helped me with this wake up call...I have a long way to go but am praising God for His grace in the midst of striving..."Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Ephesians 5:1-2"