The Glow

I walked into the tiny apartment and immediately stepped into dog feces. When I pulled up my car to the front door to begin unloading bags and boxes of the baby gear I had come to deliver, I was beyond excited to share all this goodness on my sweet girl and the baby growing in her stomach and in my eagerness to get inside I was instantly reminded through that first step the reality of what I had just walked into.

Before we sat down together to begin sorting the onesies and chatting over the cute factor of baby clothes, I noticed she took the time to brush away the clutter of the tiny apartment and light a small candle. I had to begin fighting tears at that very moment because I realized that this act of love and hospitality on her end was a gesture of doing all she could to make the smell...the situation...the moment...warmer and better.

The glow of that tiny candle brought light into the darkness of the room and it allowed me to watch her expressions of love and joy all the while with one hand resting gently on her pregnant stomach. In that moment I could see the mother that she has become and silently prayed over her for the years and journey that lie ahead. In that moment, I could see the glow from her heart.

I love  moments that stand still in our memories. I know this will be one of those visits that remains in my heart in that light--a mixture between bittersweet and heartache and joy all rolled into one. As I wrapped my arms around her and her pregnant stomach to tell her goodbye, she whispered her prayer to me and prayed for her baby to know Jesus. That's when I was reminded yet again, of the light, the glow that always lives in our hearts once we say Yes. All it takes is saying Yes...just once.

Sometimes darkness creeps in...sometimes we walk a different road or follow a different voice but the greatness of our Savior is that He doesn't stop glowing. He continues to live within us and allows us the grace to turn to Him again for warmth, for depth, for the light we need because He is the light of the World. We sometimes make choices and decisions that run us empty and dry but He does not run out of what we need. He does not die inside of us even when we chose to look away from Him.

I'm extra thankful for the glow of that tiny candle & for the powerful light found in a King that is holding us always...even in the darkest moments in hard situations and even in beautiful ones. The glow of His love remains in us, all it takes is simply saying Yes.

Being Still

At just the point in the student ministry calendar when life tends to hit the really busy season...keep in mind really busy in student ministries is just a step before the summer months which tend to blow into the category of crazy busy. Let me also clarify, that I LOVE the busy life that is full time student ministries. I love the weekend retreats, the weekend game nights & filling car loads full of teens to attend a sporting events or a concert. I love the confirmation season where our students going through the process have consistent programming together for nearly 12 weeks. I love the summers filled with packing vans & sleeping on air mattresses. This is by no means is a blog post complaining about the busy life that is student ministries. I thrive off of the busy.

This is more of a post on the reminder that comes from my Father in the midst of the busy. Just as I begin to see the light of no more snow days and winter nights of canceled ministry events due to snow and ice my initial feeling is to crank up the busy; and then Lent creeps in and with it the reminder to just be still with Him.

I open up my old school day planner and read the words, Ash Wednesday. Once again, I stand amazed that my Father knows this is exactly the moment I need the reminder of what these next 40 days are all about. That just as my own instinct is to allow myself to dive deep into crazy busy mode--that there is something greater in the midst of the busy. That there is a stillness my heart craves far more than all the busy I could ever try to cram into each day.

My best friend blessed me with a four day visit last week and I couldn't help but fight back the tears when she pulled out this framed scripture art for me from her duffel bag with the words of Psalm 46:10. Exactly the truth my heart and day planner needed for this season, before this next wonderful round of really busy ministry.

I want to strive to imprint this verse on my life for these next 40 days. I know the busy will sneak in more than I should let it at times which makes me even more thankful for the grace that comes through this season, through Christ's sacrifice for us. For me and for you. A grace and love to be celebrated through all the busy and non-busy seasons but I sure am thankful for these 40 days where being still is exactly what this busy ol' heart of mine needs.