A Nudge.

Fasting has always been a pretty personal and intimate discipline for me. Three years ago, I participated in the Daniel Fast ( see details here... http://www.daniel-fast.com/index.php/about-the-fast) during Lent. I felt a nudge from the Lord before that season of Lent began that I needed to focus on Him and I needed clarity. It's kind of amazing, how much clarity came from that time of fasting and prayer as well as how much my life changed after that Lenten season.

Last year, I again felt the nudge from the Lord to take on that discipline during Lent. I did a different type of Daniel Fast, only fasting M-F to accommodate the sometimes crazy ministry weekends. But again, it was a very intimate time with the Lord that is clear to me now that He was giving me that nudge to prepare me to draw nearer to Him, in some challenging summer months ahead.

With both of those fasts it was a decision I came to on my own. Our church family, was recently recommended to fast for 21 days similar to the Daniel Fast as part of the Fruitful Congregational Journey process that we are undergoing. This recommendation caught me completely off guard. I hadn't felt that nudge or call to fast this past Lent. It really wasn't on my radar. Since January, I've been training consistently to run a 13 mile half marathon coming up in mid-May. This call to fast wasn't in my plans. I know that not every one has the capability to do a food fast, like a Daniel Fast, and initially I told myself, I'll just use my training as an excuse not to give up meat or dairy, etc. and then it happened...that nudge.

I didn't have peace with it. I felt the Lord nudging me to talk to Him about my fears and doubts going into the Daniel Fast this time. The list for me initially was long...the food prep, the expense of the Daniel Fast friendly groceries, my busy schedule for the next 3 weeks, my half marathon training, etc. My list seemed valid. But the nudge didn't leave me, I didn't have peace.

As, I was praying over the steps to take last week, I came across this verse from Matthew when Jesus is been tempted by Satan, ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. " It got me thinking...what would it really be like for me to live out these words.

In these first five days of fasting here's what God has stretched my heart with: I'm hungry. And often, I fill my life up with some much busy-ness, so much stress, so much struggle, so much anxiousness, so much worry, so much fear, so much stuff...that I don't realize how hungry I am for my Father. Sometimes for me, it takes physical hunger to remind me of that. What a humbling experience this has been for me in just a few short days. I can't promise you with the 10 mile runs I have looming ahead of me the next week or so that I won't switch back to turkey or chicken into my diet...there's a good chance I will.

Had I not started the fast to begin with and just ignored the nudging...I may have missed out on a powerful lesson my loving, powerful, holy Heavenly Father had laid out for me. My strength and trust must be found in Him. My heart must be fixed in Him. And as many times as I'll fail to do that, I'm thankful for the nudges along the way that draw me back. I'll count it joy when my stomach growls because the rice cakes and carrots didn't cut it for lunch because it's a reminder of the abundance I have the rest of the time and the overwhelming abundance I have in Jesus when I simply let him steer the ship.