Finding Balance

Here is the quote that has completely wrecked me. It comes from author and pastor Larry Crabb:

Happy people do not love well. Joyful people do. That’s why happiness, the pleasant feelings that pleasant circumstances generate, must be taken away and replaced by joy. Happy people rarely look for joy. They’re quite content with what they have. The foundation of their life consists of the blessings they enjoy. Although they may genuinely care about those less fortunate and do great things to help, their central concern is to keep what they have. They haven’t been freed to pursue a greater dream. That’s why they cannot love well. In His severe mercy, God takes away the good to create an appetite for the better, and then, eventually, He satisfies the new appetite, liberating them to love. It comes down to this: God’s best is available only to those who sacrifice, or who are willing to sacrifice, the merely good. If we are satisfied with good health, responsible children, enjoyable marriages, close friendships, interesting jobs, and successful ministries, we will never hunger for Gods’ best. We will never worship. I’ve come to believe that only broken people truly worship. Unbroken people – happy folks who enjoy their blessings more than the Blesser – say thanks to God the way a shopper thanks a clerk. 
It’s a great tragedy when Christian people make it through life without ever discovering that their happiness is no different from the happiness of circumstantially well-off pagans. I fear that millions of Christians have never made that discovery and therefore blissfully continue to drink watered-down grape juice when fine wine is available. " -Larry Crabb

The first time I read this I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. The second time I read it I realized that this is something I need to digest over and over again. Now, years later from when I read this for the first time I'm still striving to figure out what it means to find this balance.

How do I find the balance of striving for God's best in the midst of my brokenness all the while savoring the shower of His blessings in my life?

Some days I do want to rest in the comfort of my amazing friends & family. I do find joy in the growing student ministry I'm so blessed to help lead.

But then the quote creeps back into my heart..."Happy folks who enjoy their blessings more than the Blesser--say thanks to God the way a shopper thanks a clerk." That's the part that hits me like a bus and brings me to my knees in a plea for the balance. I'm reminded of a verse from the book of James 1:22--"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says."

The strive for this balance is not an easy one. Our culture has become so busy and full that I believe it's become all to easy to keep drinking that watered-down grape juice. I fall for it all the time. I allow myself to fill my calendar full with life--and honestly mostly good stuff but ultimately the reason this quote from Larry Crabb messes with me so much is because I am not wired to just want a life filled of good stuff.

My Creator has wired me for more. He has wired me to seek Him and His Kingdom. In the midst of my mess and my struggle to strive for this balance all He seeks is for me to begin by resting in Him.

In the midst of these next few days giving thanks for the blessings I'm praying for a thirst for a greater dream. When my stomach is full from turkey and pumpkin pie, I hope I cannot fully forget that there's more to strive for...fine wine is available.