small steps

small steps

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Wrecked

I hate to admit it but I'm all too familar with car accidents. I count my blessings over and over that the accidents I've experienced haven't involved any injuries more extreme than bruises and stitches. I am, however, familar with the scene of twisted metal and broken glass. The images are cemeted in my brain with those shards of glass on the road and the powder from the air bag. In these experiences I've had with car wrecks--in those moment all I can focus on is the mess.

In my accidents physical injuries haven't played a major role. So, in those seconds after the accident my freak-out nature tends to fixate on what this means. How much it will cost...can the car be repaired...what happens with insurance...how do I get a rental car...are the questions seem impossible. The twisted metal and broken glass in front of me seem permament.

In the moment of the wreck all I can ever focus on is the brokenness itself. I've been wondering recently, why am I like that. It's kind of brutal for my heart to type this all out and admit it. But maybe you're reading this and you've faced a wreck of your own. Maybe you've stood on the side of the road in the midst of the brokenness and wondered how in the world did I get here. Maybe your wreck has nothing to do with a car accident.

My own heart tends to reflect that of the scenes I've faced in car accidents when I am hurting and unsure of what lies ahead. My heart drifts towards focusing on what is broken...what is out of my control to fix. All to easily, I allow myself to just plop down in the midst of the wreckage in the hurt and the unknown of where to go from here and stay there.

Ya'll, I do not have a bunch of wrecked cars that don't work sitting outside of my home. Through God's grace and provision and moving one foot in front of another, the wreckage is towed away. Cars are repaired or replaced. And in a more powerful way, Jesus is able to heal hearts from the wreckage and the hurt--even when all I can see around me are the shards of what I loved so dearly. Jesus is greater than whatever wreck I find myself within.

 I remember one Sunday when I was a little girl, my sweet Sunday School teacher scooping me up into her lap and smoothing out the lace on my dress while wiping tears from my face...I think I was crying because there weren't enough markers at the table for us all to have a pink one...in any case, she said, "Jesus cares when you hurt." That moment has stayed with me. I cling to it in the storms and the car accidents within the hurting and the wreckage.

It was just the reminder I needed today and if you're reading this I hope it brings you some sort of hope in the midst of whatever fender bender or collosion you may be facing.

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