Radical or Obedient?

I'm blessed to be apart of an exciting season of student ministry. We feel a strong and clear nudge from the Lord that this is a time to focus on equipping our students to reach out to others to make disciples. It's exciting and comfort zone stretching all at once. My co-director, Joe, wrote about it from his perspective, so check that out here, http://joeggarrison.com/blog/focusing-students-making-disciples/

We are moving forward with Matthew 28:19-20 as our focus:

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,  teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.

I'm finding it just as important to take on this challenge not just from a ministry perspective but also as a calling for my own life and walk with Christ. As important as I feel it is to equip our students to help them share Jesus, I know I am also called to go and make disciples right along with them.

It's easy for me to really love on my people. My family. My friends. My students & their families. All blessings in my life that I love striving to love like Jesus does. By no means do I love the people I'm closest too perfectly---but what a blessing it is to pour into their lives. It's not out of my comfort zone to strive to do so. I'm thankful that God knows that about our hearts--that there are those in our lives that loving comes easy. But, the more I pray about it, I feel like God is nudging me that those relationships should more so fuel us as Christians to have even more passion for living out those powerful words spoken by Jesus in Matthew 28:19-20.

We can stay content in our lives of loving our people--or we can share the love of Jesus...everyday...in the world. 

One of the most powerful examples of living out Matthew 28:19-20, has come to me through Katie Davis. My students, my family, my friends--all know I have been talking about Katie & her story of moving to Uganda and adopting a liter of little girls as well as starting a feeding ministry...for years. I've bought everyone I know her book. I myself have read it cover to cover probably 10 times...not exaggerating. You can read more about Katie, here: http://www.amazima.org/katiesstory.html

Nearly every time after I share her story the responses I get usually are in awe of what she's doing and also how radical Katie's calling is...and yes, moving to Uganda as a single 20 something is a big deal and it's not every Christian's calling.

Yet, I can't help but feel that Katie's testimony is simply obedience. And that's my prayer for our student ministry as we head into a season focused on making disciples--one of loving obedience, that we would realize that the love God has blessed us all with for each other is just too great to keep to ourselves.

It may stretch us at times. We may need to pray for courage and boldness to step outside of those comfort zones. The last thing Jesus said after his command to make disciples was, "I am with you always." He is with us in this! We aren't headed into this alone.

Instead of sharing the good news of Jesus with our peers, neighbors, co-workers, family members and friends being a radical idea or action maybe we can strive to allow it simply to be steps of obedience in following the command of the One who loves us perfectly.

Provision

                                                                                             (joegarrisonphotography)

No matter how I often I turn to fear or doubt or worry...which honestly is often, God always shows up. God always cares. God always provides.

Again and again throughout the winding roads of my walk with Him, in the moments that has seemed the saddest and the hardest, I can look at them now and see His hands and mercy all over those tears, sleepless nights & just crazy times of pure fear.

God's provision kind of blows my mind. I was gently reminded of it again last Sunday evening when I heard a student walk over to my co-director after he was done leading the teaching at our worship night and say "That message was exactly what I needed."

God provides for others through US...that is even harder for me to wrap my heart around sometimes. He loves us too much not to allow us to be apart of His work. What a gift.

It's easy to allow my heart to make excuses to be used sometimes and instead turn to judgement and criticism..."Well, we can't provide that because we don't have this..."or "If we only were like..."--that kind of attitude is an easy trap to fall in.

I love the example Jesus shows us when he called the disciples to follow him. He didn't ask them to go to boot camp first. He didn't tell them to take 6 months to pull it all together. He simply asked them to come & follow him...to trust that he would provide what they would need along the way--to be willing to work with him.

Trusting in God's provision and timing, I'm learning is a continual, life long work in process--but one I can't imagine being any sweeter to continually surrender along the way.

All We Can Do

I have really been blessed in the grandparent department. My childhood was a steady stream of sweet memories with four of the sweetest people. Four very different & distinct personalities that really blessed my socks off. They all in their own way always pointed me towards Jesus. I can't put into words or even try to measure the impact of that---their examples have really set the bar high in my life. Such blessings.

I always miss my mom's mother a little more this time of year. When it reaches that point of winter for me when it just seems like it can't get any colder and I'm overly tired of snow, my heart always turns to my grandmother. It's hard to believe that she passed away seven years ago. The last five years of her life, I found myself spending a lot of one on one time with her. I would drive to her house and spend a few days with her a couple times throughout the year just to help her out with cleaning & shopping. Those were the end of my college years and the beginning of my full time ministry years and those 48 hour trips with my Grandma always seemed to be just what I needed. In those days together, we pretty much talked non-stop. I felt a new openness to share everything with her...my fears, my struggles, my joys and she would do the same with me. I loved the stories she'd tell me about my grandfather and there were usually tears from both of us. It was a closeness I had never had with her before and it led to one of my very favorite memories with her because after a few years of my Grandma visits, she started calling me on the phone.

At first, I remember being a little surprised to hear my Grandma's voice on the other end but as it became more regular I grew to love these conversations more and more. One night, in the dead of winter, I found myself home alone and roommate-less. No ministry events or students slamming through the front door to see what was for dinner. It was unusually quiet. I was sitting on the couch watching the snow fall from the huge picture window in my family room, when my phone rang, it was my sweet Grandma. She wondered if it was snowing in Hillsdale, just like it was in Greenville, where she lived.

For some reason, I have no idea why, I burst into tears, I started sharing with my Grandma all my fears and uncertainties about ministry and God's plan for me. I have no idea how she understood me. I remembered when I stopped talking that I expected her to maybe be emotional or upset too. But calmly, on the other end of the phone she said "Sometimes, Stephie, all we can do is just turn it over to Jesus," and she began to pray for me.

That was the last time we ever talked on the phone. She lived another year  and I had visits with her but for some reason neither of us ever called each other. In some ways, I regret that, in other ways I feel like that last phone conversation was the exactly the reminder conversation I would need for the rest of my life.

I was reminded of it very early this morning after I crawled out of bed, dreading to turn back my curtain to see how much snow had fallen overnight. I found myself just starring out at the falling snow--and instead of starting my day with a spirit of thankfulness found myself worrying about a lot of things in my life right now I don't have tons of control over--or any control over.

All of a sudden, I could hear my sweet grandmother's voice. I could hear her prayer for me to turn it over. A beautiful reminder, again and again that sometimes all we can do and all we need to do is simply turn it over to Jesus.

"Cast all your anxiety on Him, for he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7